My friend, Doug, asked a compelling question at his blog a couple of months ago. The question resonated with me, because I often crave time alone! Doug’s question essentially boils down to this: If somebody took over all of your responsibilities for the next 24 hours, what would you do? I suspect most mothers day-dream about this from time to time. “24 hours all to myself!” I also suspect that for most of them, if they could really have those 24 hours they’d like to be home and have the family gone, at least if they have been married for any length of time. There are SO many things I want to do without interruption and they are ALL at home.
Still, when I thought about Doug’s question, I found it was not easy to think about what I would really do. The reality is you immediately have to face the choice between what do I want to do and what ought I to do? Those are two very different things! It would be deliciously fun to take an entire day and do none of the things I ought to do! A long lazy morning, sleeping in and reading a pleasure book. A scrumptious brunch while continuing to read or maybe writing a real pen and paper letter to a friend. An afternoon watching a double feature in my own living room all alone. A long soak in the tub. Lots of time to meander around the house thinking uninterrupted thoughts (this is possibly my greatest desire). Just quiet and lots of it. Those sound wonderful! Equally wonderful would be to tackle one or more projects that require focused concentration. We always have a long list of those and we rarely get to them. I suppose the two might be able to be combined if one was able to have enough uninterrupted thought to prepare.
It seems that the key aspect of both what I might like to do and what I ought to do centers around uninterrupted thought time. For me, that’s the thing money can’t buy. If you send me out of the home, it isn’t the same. Granted a retreat somewhere to just wrestle with God over many things would always be profitable, but some of the things I really need to ponder deeply are not going to come to mind away from ground zero. I need to be home, alone, to really wrestle with God about many of the things that impact me and the family right here where we live. I also need to be home, alone, with uninterrupted thoughts to tackle some of the bigger to-do items on my list with the greatest effectiveness.
I do think to be able to really enjoy the 24 hours, you need a little advance time to be sure you have the things necessary to make the most of that time. A gift of 24 all-to-yourself hours is a wonderful gift! If Doug can figure out how to market that gift, he may be able to take an early retirement!
I love how you mentioned that the first reality you face is the choice between what you WANT to do and what you OUGHT to do. But I agree – almost everything I would do would be at Home. Funny how that works out.
I love the paradox of your last paragraph. In order to make the most of your 24 hours, you need uninterrupted thought and planning prior to the very thing you desire. So goes my life …
I can tell that what I wrote hit home with both of you!
Amanda, it is funny how that works out and I think most never stop to actually think about it. When you do, it’s a surprise!
Penny, so true about the Paradox! May I please have 12 hours to prepare and plan for my 24! 🙂
Absolutely wonderful ! I need to write more about these thoughts you brought to light. Rarely do WANT and NEED end up being the same.
I can’t wait to see what you write, Doug. I’ve spent oodles of time pondering the original question. May you have special wisdom and insight to help us wrestle with those two rascals, want and need!